Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Blindsided: Sometimes, things aren't about you

Have you ever been blindsided by a person you thought was your friend? Someone you support who you thought supported you until the day they blow up and tell you what a mean person you are. How you are rude and mean to everyone. How you are a horrible parent who only yells and is mean to their kids.
So after the shock and horror wear off, you have to think, is there any truth in what they said? It's easy to dismiss it all and say they must be crazy. But there is a niggling, what if they are right? You feel horrible, because why would anyone make this up?
Honestly though, I don't think anyone else would describe me this way. I didn't think this person would describe me this way. I'll be the first to admit I yell at my kids, but I am also the only person who is there 100% for them. I'm coming off a 3 year stretch of being a single-full-time-working parent. And if there is anyone out there who knows how to get through a day without yelling at  6 & 10 year old boys - I'll be the first to sign up for lessons from you. I even decided to ask my kids if I ever yell at them for no reason, "No, we're always doing something we shouldn't when you yell."
I ask those who know me best, "am I really the way this person said I am?" And I can't get anyone to confirm the accusations.
So it comes down to realizing that sometimes, things aren't about you. You just got to be the person they took their frustrations out on. It's hard not to take it personally though. But I'm not going to buy into someone else's pain and bitterness. Our realities and perceptions are probably not the same. And I know I am far from perfect, but I am not the monster you made me out to be. I am truly sorry your life is rough right now, but I am not the person to shoulder that for you when you try to bring me down with you.

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