When one of my sons was 7 he asked me, "Mom, can boys marry boys?"
"In some states."
"Good, that's what I want to do!"
Now, having worked with kids my entire adult life, I know that most 7 year old boys think girls have cooties, but I also knew in a split second that if this was not that case, I in no way wanted to plant the seed of doubt that I wouldn't accept my son. So, I answered, "What kind of cake to you want at your wedding?"
Fast forward some years later and due to the recent Supreme Court decision I decide that conversation may need an update.
"Remember when you asked me if boys could marry boys and I said, "In some states" well, now the Supreme Court says that it needs to be in all states."
Now, I'm not even sure how to take that comment, so I ask for clarification, "Did you mean that as a fact or as an insult?"
"I'm not sure."
"Because if you meant that as a statement, it's okay. If you meant it as an insult, that's not okay."
Now I've totally confused my kid, so I try to save the conversation by saying, "I just hope whoever you marry makes you happy." And after a lull, "Do you think Dad and I make each other happy?"
"Well, I think you make Dad happy, but I don't think he makes you happy."
Dang, where did this come from??? Now I'm analyzing myself, but I come up with the conclusion that my son is right!
Does my husband make me happy? My first thought is that it is no one's job to make me happy. No guy can do that because I am responsible for my own happiness.
Does my husband make me unhappy? No.
Am I happy that he is my partner? Yes.
But can I say that my husband make me happy? That's not his job. His job is to be my partner and when I am unhappy it is my job to either change things or change my attitude.
Life is better together and I am happy for that, but no one else has the obligation to "make me happy."
And now that I've figured out the theory to happiness....